College is supposed to be the time where we all figure out who we really are. We are supposed to explore our options, date around, and take on crazy adventures and through this, we figure out our “true selves.” I have been doing a lot of exploring, I guess you could say, and have started to figure out things about myself that I wasn’t entirely aware of before. Like my pet peeves for example… when people don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your”…simple grammar guys. Another big one is when people aren’t considerate it drives me crazy! Why do I dance around trying to make other people happy and comfortable when they don’t return the favor. Consideration…is that so hard? Another one of my biggest pet peeves is dishonesty. Why is it so hard for people to be honest these days? I can tell you right now if you told me the truth about whatever sticky situation you have going on…I am going to be a lot more receptive and a lot more forgiving because you chose to tell the truth. Which is how we come up with the phrase “The Ugly Truth.”
It’s one of my favorite movies and a great philosophy. Being honest can be hard, but lets get real…If you could just tell the truth instead of having the constant guilt of secrets and judgements, wouldn’t life be a little easier? Instead of wasting the energy trying to keep things in or beating around the bush, let it out! The truth may be ugly but 9-out of- 10… it’ll be a lot more freeing and life would be easier.
The ugly truth isn’t just about the source. The receiver has to accept the challenges as well. Think about it… if someone were to tell you that you’ve had a pepper stuck in your tooth right away, wouldn’t you be appreciative? Yeah, it’s embarrassing but a lot less worse than if you went all day and talked to 50 people all thinking “Wow, I wonder how long that’s been there…” The same thing goes with more serious subjects. For example, I just “ended things” with a guy I have been somewhat involved with for 6 years. Yeah, 6 years! We were never actually dating but when we were together it was evident that there was something there. Just recently I had broken up with my boyfriend of over 2 years and started hanging out with my 6-year-man-friend again. Long story short we got a little serious a little fast and because I had just gotten out of a relationship, I freaked, broke up with him, and ran. After a couple of weeks “exploring my options” I realized that I truely wanted to be with him again and I was ready for a relationship. Little did I know he was so bitter about the whole thing that he was saying hurtful things behind my back. Honestly, with the whole way that the thing played out, I didn’t deserve that. Plus…how old are we? and aren’t girls supposed to be the catty, immature ones? Anyway, moral of the story, I wasted 3 weeks beating myself up about this guy that I thought that I hurt, and how it was all my fault, and how I’m the idiot because he is “sooo sweet, has such a great heart, etc.” When all the while he was being mean and hateful behind my back and not telling me how he felt. Thank God my friend decided to be honest with me and tell me the truth about what was really going on. I know it was hard for her to relay such negative and hurtful news but the results were worth it. I would much rather hear the ugly truth than to be still kicking myself for hurting “such an amazing person.” Yeah, amazing all right. Needless to say, I’m over that tool bag.
So moral of the story… when the time is right, tell your friends or loved ones the truth. I guarantee they will appreciate the ugly truth so much more than being left in the dark. I wish we people could be more honest when dating these days. If everyone would lay everything out on the table (in a peaceful and respectful manner) then dating would be SO much easier. Half of the game is just wondering what the other person is thinking. So why not just tell the truth? No matter how ugly it can be.
The Ugly Truth
He’s Just Not That Into You
Self-Help: It’s Called A Break-Up Because It’s Broken